mortality and thoughts

Today my aunt died.  She had multiple problems, wasn't really coherent and didn't want to hang around like that.  She told my mom and her kids so emphatically.  My mom's younger sister.  The funny thing, she's about 4 years younter than my mom, and my mom's pretty spry.  In spite of various things...

I still miss her, but if she's in a better place (the euphemism), so I will hope.  (I don't really believe in life hereafter, it doesn't make sense in a rational universe.  But, I wish I could).

July 20, 1925 - November 13, 2011 at about 8 pm. Sleep well Aunt Ev. 

So you think you park close?

I got out of the car, and am just grateful I didn't scrape.  (somehow didn't even "see it" coming).
Shows how off perspective is sometimes. (it's actually that close!)

CBTL and why I love consulting

I'm too busy to post.
No, correct that.

I *was* too busy to post.  Now I'm coming back to my normality.  
Sometimes I wish otherwise.

I got a consulting gig.  And as usual with such things, there is no such thing as half-way.

So, I've been working my tail doing their stuff, and trying to keep the plates in the air for MY stuff, and...
You get the idea.

I've got New RENTERS (yay) whom I like; and are quiet/busy/self-contained and they have manners.
Not perfect! mind you, but real adults for a change.  UN-Believable.

Now I just have to play catch up on bills and chores.

(And somehow, fatten up the cats again.  They've gotten entirely too skinny)

Next gig?

Desperation and renters (September)

IT's amazing how fast things can go wrong.

I'm now going to be TWO months behind on my house payment (gee thanks) as of September 20th.  And, I do NOT see any way of magically coming up with $2200 (1100*2) that fast.

Since the last set of roommates moved out (after NOT paying for a month); I have a few people come see the place (two rooms) and they (a) run away if they have a sense of smell or any sense of style; or (b) want to immediately move in ... but have no funds.  Even a Mother-Daughter pair from CSUN (shows that a college education is good for something!)

I get the cat surprise cleaned up... again.

Then, I get a gal who comes by (seperated or something like that), and she's all interested until her "creep" alarm goes off... (which is I'm guessing because I want someone in the room ASAP).  Nothing at all to do with the fact that she's wearing the lowest cut top and pushup I've seen yet outside of a club.  I thought I was being a polite gentleman, but evidence seems to point to the contrary...


Late July:  Get a new roommate.  He (three weeks in) gets a bigger, better deal closer to work and immediately moves out.  Wants his deposit back.  Great.  (working on it, but wasn't expecting mid-month and no notice and no other roommate or consulting income).

August:  Get a new roommate.  Immediately (after move-in) discover that she has no funds whatsoever; and her receivables are mostly pot-induces imagination.  Specifically, a BS artist, or at least a wishful thinker.
My (ex) GF / [FWB / FWoB]... (depending on the day) asked me why I let her move in without cash in hand.  Good question.  I'm still asking myself that now.  It took three plus weeks to evict her.

And... just before she left; we have another plumbing malfunction (my favorite so far:  flushing the kotex is the most common, but not sure what happend this time...); and the check valve just happens to NOT shut off; so guess where all the black water goes.  I'm still cleaning the carpets with bleach.  Thanks ...  Both possible individuals said "It wasn't me" which is typical.  I have yet to see someone own it.  (Doesn't matter, neither one could afford to replace the carpet and padding anyway).

THEREFORE::
RULE #1:  If there is no cash, there's no move-in.  This especially applies to anyone who is even a little-bit sketchy.  One Month plus Security Deposit, unless (a) the background check is exceptionally clean and detailed, and (b) I'm so damm desperate that I'll latch on to anyone still breathing with the price of admission.
RULE #2: Background checks are now MANDITORY.  No exceptions; bra-size is an automatic lock on rule #2 -- if they are attractive; then the background check must be paid for in advance, AND they must pass with flying colors.  No lizard brain judgement calls.
RULE #3: If I feel "hinky", then they don't get in the door.
RULE #4: NO holistic types, even if they can take the chrome off a trailer hitch.  NONE.  NADA.  Tinfoil hats not required.

And NOW...
maybe two kids from CSUN will move in.  If the background check passes ( I think it will) and ... they can pay.  Here's to hope.


Did I mention that I NEED A JOB?

Android Blues

You know your'e getting olde when...

I'm trying to relearn something new that I dropped a year ago (after my class was over).
It's amazingly hard to find your way in the technology without a rosetta stone and a native guide.

And I do this stuff for a living?

Crap.

I had to uninstall and refresh all the tools, sources, and relink all of the add-ons so that the environment would just compile Android applications. Oh wait... it still doesn't work completely.

And I'm trying to score a QA gig in San Diego based on this?
WHO are you kidding?

Maybe tomorrow.  Back to it...

(Links may follow, if...)

Desperation

Desperation is a self-fulfilling prophesy.  Fear of failure affects performance and that creates a feedback loop.

First I have too many roommates.
Then I have too few; and the remaining one wasn't paying full fare.

So, he's gone.

I replace him with a new guy... and he's apparently unreliable. He's moving out already after less than a month in search of the BBD (bigger-better-deal), closer to his work by a couple miles.  I can't fault him, but his timing...

And I just got a temp roommate downstairs (who shows all sorts of signs of being flakey), and she's only here until the end of the month.  (Can't afford it and it's too far from downtown, plus she has 5 cats!)

And I just sent off emails to 5 prospective tenants, saying that I'm all booked until the end of the month.

Fabulous.

One of the basic *laws* of the universe: “A politician will write a law that will create more harm than good”. With the best of intentions…

1. Because of the tremendous amount of male-female spousal abuse in this country; we have a law in California that says if the couple (defined as ANYONE M-F having Sex or having had Sex in the past), then the male MUST leave.  It doesn’t matter if it’s his house or not, if she’s a owner or not.  (Because the cops would come, see “nothing” happening, then leave… and the husband/boyfriend/fucktoy would beat/kill the woman…)
2. So the cops had their discretionary choice legislated away; and by POLICY the LAPD cannot leave me in my home if a gal says (a) we’ve had sex, and (b) I’ve harmed her or she fears that I’d harm her. 
3. (I think that’s taking away the role that a live police officer is supposed to play…)
4. Because tenant rights have gone so extreme in thefavor of the tenant, (because of rampant abuse by landlords)… evicting a non-paying tenant is extremely difficult and time consuming. Even in your own home.
5. IT almost makes it not worth it…
6. I’m a firm believer in love, romance and the American dream… white picket fence, etcetera.  However, I’m currently suffering from the Nightmare version; (Elm street complete with Freddy), because it turns out that I can’t get or keep a job.  Some of that HAS to be my fault; but the rest is definitely the economy. 
7. I can get work as a consultant, but only in “emergency” terms, and only on stuff that I’m subject matter expert.  Nothing current or new, because no company will pay for that.  So, over time I have to reinvest in myself… and it’s hard to have street credibility doing commercial work in a area without someone PAYING you for the work…
8. Which leads me back to 1,2,3…  I need renters to help pay the mortgage; but (with very FEW exceptions) they CANNOT be someone I’ve dated or am dating…

 And... I might add, that takes all the fun out of the desperation of the current economy.

Yay. 

work work work rent?

I like it better when I'm not scrambling for work.  This isn't the life I imagined.

A new roommate moved in upstairs, but the other guy (in the basement) can't figure out that it's time for him to move on... he's not being productive here, and has learned all the life lessons he's going to find.  I wish him well, but this isn't working for me...  (or him).

And I still don't have full rent.

What's love... got to do with it?

Almost two months ago I broke up with my girlfriend; or is that she broke up with me...?
She wanted to have FWB with other guys; and yet has been introducing me all around as her "Boyfriend".
I'm confused. No, I think she's confused...
But since she's obviously not interested in the same things I am... (which include a more long-term relationship than a FWB); I've got to continue looking.

Advantages:
1. Above room-temperature IQ
2. I don't look my age. (who does?)
3. I'm eminently practical.
4. I'm better in bed than some, worse than others. If you need 8-10" to get off, I'm not your guy. If technique is your thing... maybe...
5. I like animals
6. I have never been to a sex party. (Two gf's in a row... and never took up the gauntlet with either one) And BOTH were bi.
7. I like to read (a lot), and appreciate most music. (Excepting Rap... I just don't "get" it --- yet).

Disadvantages:
1. I'm smarter than you are (usually). I'm also dumber on many things; example this post.
2. I'm broke, so "Sugar Daddy" is out of the question; but I'm definitely up to be your Lech.
3. A tremendous fear of something new; (see #6, 7)
4. I stop thinking clearly when I see a pretty girl, big tits, or a slinky walk. (At least... for a moment until I get the lizard brain back in it's cage)...
5. Cats are more important to me than you are. (They can't defend themselves).
6. If you move in, and marry me... I might be just past the expiration date. (I have a heart condition).
7. I read (and love) Science Fiction & Fantasy. Not to be confused wtih Horror or Suspense. (If you can't tell the difference, you're probably too stupid to talk to; mahaps we should just f#$$#?)

And I'm cranky.

And again... Roommates NOT!

Two weeks ago, the ground-floor roommate finally got his apartment and moved out.  (Yay).  Nice guy, but not the kind of habits that I would want to live with.  Too Messy, too loud, and way too broke . But... he really likes cats (which is a good thing).

Then, the upstairs gal decided to move out (no notice!) the same weekend...  Got her apartment in N. Hollywood.  And her, I liked.

Then the temp on the couch... got her place in Burbank.

I'm left with the guy in the basement...

Peace and quiet.


Now... how do I pay the bills?

And once again, my expectations met; my hopes dashed...

I hate when I'm right.  Especially when it's pessimistic.
Now I'm out of a  relationship.   Again.

Molly... 1995 - 1 May, 2011

Molly liked the waterbed.

Molly, born sometime 1995 (or 1994 -- according to vet chart) 
Went peacefully with assistance at 1:45 pm.  She was responsive up to the end.
(She was suffering from heart/kidney failure.) 
She spent the morning taking sun on the porch with me... before her appointment. 

(Saido and Pippi went with me to say goodby...)

even A box... makes a good sleeping spot

Clean Laundry, the best...

Molly,  
Was a lady and a diplomat.  
She'd walk up to any new cat (or dog) and buzz right on by and sit down...
Would sit in the window and make the cat "chatter" sound at birds.
Was always clean and fastidious.  Period.  It wasn't an option.
From the first time I met her, would come up and "greet" me when I lay down on the bed by climbing on top of my chest; give me five minutes of PURRR,and then move off.  (You've had your allotment for the day)...
Would share her food with  other cats.  She'd always back off with some left in the bowl and see who else was hungry... but she definitely was queen of the household; no confusion about that!
Loved Chicken, Tuna and Salmon; especially sashimi grade.
Survived hyperthyroid and radiation treatment with radioactive Iodine (for about 5 years?), so briefly she WAS a glow-in-the-dark kitty.


Always was willing to share a little love.

(she, baby and MR Taffy are hopefully all taking 'tea' together...)
...


I miss her.  

Remembering Baby, (sometime 1994) - April 24, 2011 rest in peace

About 2008 timeframe, a very good friend of mine entrusted me with the care of his cat Baby

She was born  sometime 1994 (we think); and quickly established herself as an independent and yet graceful member of the household.

She had a distinctive Siamese tone to her voice, and used it often to communicate her opinions, wishes and whatever side commentary she felt appropriate.  I could carry on an entire conversation with her, she would respond back at the appropriate times when I paused and it really did sound like she was listening.

When my friend and I went to get her, she was perched ABOVE the mailboxes in the entry to his condo complex; about 10-15 feet in the air... on a set of 4x4 roof beams.  I'm glad that she made it so easy to get her; I don't think I could have climbed up there!

As far as I know, she never sprayed indoors, never picked a fight, and would warn you endlessly that she was "going to get mad"... long before she had any need to actually do anything about it.  Baby came when I called (and not just because there was food!); and on her own terms would jump in your lap for a cuddle and a nap.  One night, she climbed in to my Mom's lap; and just stayed there comfortably purring... and my poor Mom was so taken that she sat still with her for at least a hour or two more than she had any plan.

Baby got sick (classic renal? failure) and went fairly quickly and dramatically a couple days ago.  I couldn't find her the evening before, and one of my roommates woke me to tell me she could hear something.  I got Baby out from under the couch where she was hiding, and held her pretty much until the end.  

I couldn't write anything, I was still feeling it.  I still do.

... April 24, 2011. I think she died in my arms.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1959398433609&set=a.1959398233604.2119139.1502225046&type=1&theater

the economy and consulting (a whine)

The fun continues; 

1. Last year, I had a room-mate call the police because I started eviction proceedings... and as a result I was a guest of Devonshire (where I saw my ex-boss's sister -- she is a Detective), and then Van Nuys...   

Not exactly a steller recommendation if I wanted to keep my reputation as a good guy intact.

The court eventually (3 months later) dismissed all charges; but the damage was done anyway... (bail, lawyer time, etc).

2. Since January of last year; I've been stiffed on consulting gigs almost as often as I get them... whether it's that they never intended to pay or we just couldn't resolve the differences (some of each), and that doesn't help my finances...  One guy would never give me real contact information, just a cellphone and a email address (should have figured that one out on my own).  Another, just upset because the website didn't come in under budget and really wasn't as well crafted as we'd all like...

3. Meanwhile, I was *briefly* employed by  a phone company in Glendale where the principal software architect (who had worked for one of my other reference companies  as a consultant); informed me that a the word was that I was (a) a nice guy, (b) completely incompetent and (c) so junior as to be nearly useless... (paraphrasing).  Since my references from there ... don't operate that way (or at least I thought so); I am stuck on how to repair that kind of reference.  I have an idea who would have stabbed me that hard... if true, but then again... no-one really knows.

Meanwhile I'm trying to re-invent myself in some fashion where I actually get paid to do work.

I worked Dec-January for a computer store in the valley as a consultant - troubleshooter, going out to the client sites to do finish work on camera installs and other networking; but they're having issues (and again... I'm not really getting paid much)... so that does not work.

4. Then... This month I had to evict (yet another) roommate who had resulted in two police calls; and the other gal who was rooming with her is moving to Hollywood to be a recording engineer.  (As soon as she can find a way)...  

But I have a positive mental outlook.  I just wish that I wasn't getting so many chances to excel...

And then there were three...

Roommates and landlord(s) that is.  (I hate it when I can't get the tenses to come out -- grin).
In July of last year (2010) I had the unfortunate experience of discovering how dangerous a person can be when they hold malice; or worse yet cannot think through the consequences.  And wisely she went elsewhere, not my problem.

So what do I do?  I go and acquire another one... I get two new roommates in October?, and one of them had some appropriate control of temper issues.

It's unfortunate that the gal who just left could not control her anger.  She becomes enraged, projecting faults onto everyone around her (but obviously NOT HER).  So, a month and change ago, we had a small incident where police were called and she got warned.  Specifically, if she blew again she would be asked to leave.  I don't have time or interest in being that paranoid and careful at home... where I am supposed to be safe.

When she repeated her pattern today getting progressively more and more abusive and hinting at violence...  she got asked to leave.  And I had just driven across the valley to get her and her friend.

So, she ended up moving out today escorted by the Police... who I am sure have better things to do; but are interested in keeping the peace!  and not having to write a report involving injuries and death.

Yay.  Now that the stress of that is over .... how do I pay the bills?

The grind

Celgene To Buy Abraxis BioScience For $2.9 Bln...
So what's the problem?

My gf works there; and is losing her job...  as are countless others.  You see, they wanted the science but not the people.  Yay.
American Innovation:  Improving the job market and the economy by dumping one successful company (and the people employed therein) at a time...

 -- and it isn't making her feel wanted or happy.

Would you be happy?

And meanwhile I'm still underemployed.  (We'll gladly pay you Thursday for a Hamburger Today)...
How the hell am I supposed to be supportive?