I'm going to rant for a bit... (what's new?)

So, in the last 4 days; I've driven to downtown LA (skid row area) 4 times, and twice in one evening, because I couldn't find her; she'd passed out in an alley and the only reason she didn't get raped/murdered was because some angel in disguise as another homeless dude protected her.
So, she slept off her binge in his place, called me the next day; and I picked her up.

She (insert expletives here) then wants to go down to OC and somehow (not hard -- face it I'm a easy mark), talks me into driving.  She's going to take the train back after seeing one of her kids.

Except, the last train leaves before it's convenient.  So, I get tasked with picking her up.  Again.
And she insists on stopping (to pee), but finds a bikini stripper bar instead and does shots.  She asks me for money (remember, I'm trying to be a straight arrow, right?), and when I don't --- tells me to F*** off and then leaves  with the guys she just met....  I'm supposed to follow but they lost me in about 5 seconds.  I wasn't able to stick...  She then calls my cell and tells me to go home.
Yay.
After I go 70 miles home; because there's no point; she calls because after the party, her "new friends" dropped her off at an emergency clinic; and she's dissing the staff because she's drunk and bails... I drive the 60-70 miles downtown (again) and find her in an alley, and she's incapable of getting to her feet unassisted.  Interesting fact, the homeless couple also in the area start to come to her rescue; just in case I'm a creep.

So, an hour plus later... I get home and she won't get out of the car.  It's my fault --- right?
She's also not breathing "right".  I took her to the local (to me) emergency; and the're understaffed, and can't get her out of the car.  She declines treatment (somebody kicked the crap out of her chest); and just wants to go home.

Oh, but to make it more interesting, she tells the security guard / EMT that I'm raping her.
So, police are called and she's irate because I won't leave until interviewed.  Like I really want to be hassled at home...

So, she smokes in my car, tells the cops that she "just wants to go home", and I'm so upset/angry that I can't separate the feeling that I want to leave her there, from the one that I want to tear off her head and sh** down her throat.  Yay.  Because,  it just isn't worth it.

Thanks, I feel better.

Roaches are the new normal. A complaint letter because...

My friend and I were a little discomfited to encounter one of the largest roaches I have ever seen in a motel.

I realize that nothing will stop them indefinitely; but it was upsetting to her to encounter one in bare feet as we were retiring. She (and then I) attempted to speak with the manager about this; and as of this writing (to be fair, only about 4 hours)... I have not received a callback from him/her.

Also, (and I notified the Santa Ana PD via tipline), we were accosted by a "gentleman" selling glass (meth) in the wee morning hours;  he then returned to harass my friend as she was checking out.  And she's streetwise, but still was scared.  I realize that the real world does intrude on the ordinary; but ...

She's stayed there at that location for years, it is convenient for her work schedule and she feels comfortable there... usually.  Spending $89 for a room may be standard at this point, but it seems to have been a little less comfortable than usual.

Pictures attached.  (I actually feel sorry for the critter, he wasn't trying to upset us)

And back again...

I can't tell if I'm more relieved or pissed.  I'm going with relieved.

The scariest thought of all is "How do I control this?"  Oh wait... it's not my place to control; not that I could, even if I was under the delusion that I should...

In the end, I'm grateful for the fact that she's safe.

Now, how do I get rid of this obsessive / compulsive mindset?  I just need to be less involved (as in don't let it affect me).

o
o
o

I just hope she didn't bring home passengers (lice, fleas...)

it's a paranoia - thing.

And again... what I get for my birthday is...

She went out wandering again.  I spoke to her Saturday night, and she was present and lucid.
Sometime later, not so much. She left all her stuff (ID, keys, wallet, purse) on her bed and vanished.
Either with the guy who feeds her drugs (meth?) [[theory]] or the homeless encampment where she has made friends.  either way, I'm powerless.  I can't help. 

The other thing, I was hoping to see her ...

I just get to wait.