Friday, November 22, 2019

I am crashing

Last night, my mother attempted to take her life with her prescription medications.
She is 99 years old, and because she fell a couple weeks ago, in pain.
I have been talking to her about my problems; and it feels as if I'm responsible. 
The only way she could help, was to pass me my "inheritance".  To die.
She survived two world wars, the Korean conflict and Vietnam.  My father served in the army in World War II, as medical personnel in England and then France.  He never really talked about it, but I know my Mom has letters.
She worked through the war in a hospital, and I don't have much detail.
I know that she's usually very strong, so between the pain and the desire to not outlive everyone she knows; but I don't have an answer, I only have talked to my sister about it.  Not her.  Not yet.

I don't know where to go with this, I just know that my world got bumped yesterday.
I talk to her everyday, in the evening before she retires.
I'm at a loss.