Saturday, September 10, 2011

Desperation and renters (September)

IT's amazing how fast things can go wrong.

I'm now going to be TWO months behind on my house payment (gee thanks) as of September 20th.  And, I do NOT see any way of magically coming up with $2200 (1100*2) that fast.

Since the last set of roommates moved out (after NOT paying for a month); I have a few people come see the place (two rooms) and they (a) run away if they have a sense of smell or any sense of style; or (b) want to immediately move in ... but have no funds.  Even a Mother-Daughter pair from CSUN (shows that a college education is good for something!)

I get the cat surprise cleaned up... again.

Then, I get a gal who comes by (seperated or something like that), and she's all interested until her "creep" alarm goes off... (which is I'm guessing because I want someone in the room ASAP).  Nothing at all to do with the fact that she's wearing the lowest cut top and pushup I've seen yet outside of a club.  I thought I was being a polite gentleman, but evidence seems to point to the contrary...


Late July:  Get a new roommate.  He (three weeks in) gets a bigger, better deal closer to work and immediately moves out.  Wants his deposit back.  Great.  (working on it, but wasn't expecting mid-month and no notice and no other roommate or consulting income).

August:  Get a new roommate.  Immediately (after move-in) discover that she has no funds whatsoever; and her receivables are mostly pot-induces imagination.  Specifically, a BS artist, or at least a wishful thinker.
My (ex) GF / [FWB / FWoB]... (depending on the day) asked me why I let her move in without cash in hand.  Good question.  I'm still asking myself that now.  It took three plus weeks to evict her.

And... just before she left; we have another plumbing malfunction (my favorite so far:  flushing the kotex is the most common, but not sure what happend this time...); and the check valve just happens to NOT shut off; so guess where all the black water goes.  I'm still cleaning the carpets with bleach.  Thanks ...  Both possible individuals said "It wasn't me" which is typical.  I have yet to see someone own it.  (Doesn't matter, neither one could afford to replace the carpet and padding anyway).

THEREFORE::
RULE #1:  If there is no cash, there's no move-in.  This especially applies to anyone who is even a little-bit sketchy.  One Month plus Security Deposit, unless (a) the background check is exceptionally clean and detailed, and (b) I'm so damm desperate that I'll latch on to anyone still breathing with the price of admission.
RULE #2: Background checks are now MANDITORY.  No exceptions; bra-size is an automatic lock on rule #2 -- if they are attractive; then the background check must be paid for in advance, AND they must pass with flying colors.  No lizard brain judgement calls.
RULE #3: If I feel "hinky", then they don't get in the door.
RULE #4: NO holistic types, even if they can take the chrome off a trailer hitch.  NONE.  NADA.  Tinfoil hats not required.

And NOW...
maybe two kids from CSUN will move in.  If the background check passes ( I think it will) and ... they can pay.  Here's to hope.


Did I mention that I NEED A JOB?

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