And that happened...

The roommate drama just keeps on getting better.

Yesterday, she sold her car and cried about the loss.  Which makes sense, lots of memories triggered by the vehicle.  She went to college in it, took her kids camping, et al.

But, immediately after.... goes and gets alcohol.  Oh wait, snap.  She's an alcoholic.  Then she skies off with a guy who's definitely bad news for her (or anyone else). 

So, he leaves her about 100 miles away, in Carpinteria.  Just drives away.
So, we do the uber dance today... because some kind soul took her in for the night.  (I don't want to imagine the alternate consequences).

She's going to leave town.  So she says.  Tonight.

I'd lay money on it being an air-biscuit; but you never really know.  All I know, is I'm not in the mood.

Patience is a virtue.

Snoopy: "Patience my ass..."

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy... ?

I've had an epiphany.  Not the one I like either.  I have a person, let's call her that... who is absolutely fucking brilliant, and troubled.  In fact, she's an addict, alcoholic, ...  Well, she's compensated for companionship; denies vehemently that she's having sex for money; and yet...

The problem is I really like her.  As in Really - REALLY.  But, as recent lab tests have proved; there are significant risks to having sex with a roommate.

Telling me that she was abused as a child, hence the personality disorders de jour, she justifies all her actions as coping mechanisms.  I'm not a therapist, and I do have a little lizard brain who often puts his fucking thumb on the scales when I'm trying to think.

Getting a dose didn't help (but to be fair, I don't know that it's her fault).  It's possible that I already was infected, but unlikely.

But, anyone who resembles " Belle de Jour" (IMDB) is probably not a good candidate for a relationship of any kind.

People with personality disorders are not good candidates for anything except being used as a sex-toilet and you'd better have protection.  Assuming you like that sort of thing. They're going to wreck their life, and if you are in the blast radius... you will end up in the crater as well.  She's going to poison everything she touches....

(but the little voice says " but I still really like her").


Fuck.

Mental illness isn't a sin, and I'm not a qualified therapist.

So I seem to be collecting them.  My friends, I mean.  The ones who aren't processing the world in the same way the rest of us (we think we are anyway)... are.

Some years back I dated a lady (well, better than the other pejoratives of a failed relationship).  Also, an alcoholic...  and smart as hell in a creative - emotional context - words and songs as communications way... she wrote country music (had two albums to her credit), and was impressively gifted.  She was also certifiably bug crazy nuts.  (Those are polite pejoritives people, for one who had a "personality disorder").  You never know what she will come up with next, but you know it will be interesting.

Before her, a childhood friend and object of awe while I was in high school, and I became reacquainted.  I won't dwell on it too much, but again...

The point.... I just encountered (last few weeks) yet another shining example of what is wrong with our health care system for mental illness.  And she also really really smart.  And I'm not just saying that.  My standards for that are pretty high. And I can't help her.  Maybe not be a problem, but then again... YMMV

I must have a magnet.  Somewhere I can't see.  I just know I'm not qualified. 

I'd say that I'm trying to help, but how the hell would I know?  When is it wishful thinking or rationalization?

Jesus -- the most cynical excuse on the planet

Ever notice how people do evil and then ask you if you are "saved" by Jesus?

It's a thing.  A person can be a totally selfish person, and still be welcome in heaven, because on the  deathbed or sooner... they accepted "my lord jesus christ".

I'm sorry, I don't think it works like that.

“There is no conclusive evidence of life after death, but there is no evidence of any sort against it. Soon enough you will know, so why fret about it?”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

I posit that if there is a G*d, then he/she isn't likely to take that as an excuse.

But they think so.

Burn in eternal damnation fools.  You fucked up this life, that's going to count.  Religious pundits notwithstanding, there is no such thing...


"Gospodin," he said presently, "you used an odd word earlier--odd to me, I mean..."
"Oh, 'tanstaafl.' Means ~There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.' And isn't," I added, pointing to a FREE LUNCH sign across room, "or these drinks would cost half as much. Was reminding her that anything free costs twice as much in long run or turns out worthless."

"An interesting philosophy."

"Not philosophy, fact. One way or other, what you get, you pay for."

― Robert A. Heinlein, The moon is a harsh mistress.

And I'm a jew, btw.
http://www.jewfaq.org/beliefs.htm