1. your ex-girlfriend calls you up to make bail for her son.
2. The most expensive thing in your life (at the moment) is you cat(s)' (multiple) veterenary bills; and they're over $4K.
3. Your part-time bookkeeper is a hottie, and you are giving her carefully thought out altruistic relationship advice.
4. The last time you drank more than a single beer - you regretted it for the entire night, and so did the cats who inhabit the domicile with you. And scotch... is out of the question (unless you want to spend the rest of the night with major bowel disorder)...
5. The first thing you do when you get up in the morning... is remove the cat from your face.
6. Even your consulting gigs disrespect you.
7. You invite a co-worker out to lunch... and they (perceptably) spend time thinking... free food... lunch with... hmmm...
8. You are working on a project in your cubicle in the afternoon as a consultant, getting paid more money than god... (figuratively speaking), and you notice that you have nodded off again... and wonder if anyone noticed.
9. you spend inordinate amounts of time on CraigsList looking for single-women-looking-for-men, and you realise that you are 50 years old... and NOTHING in that category appeals. (and the ones who advert for an older guy... are either professionals, very high maintenance, or a scam of one sort or another).
10. You have time on a Friday night to write this list. (traditional)
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