your own private cheering section

I'm somewhat unemployed.

I say somewhat, because I still have a small contract supporting a doctor's office. But, the gig can't pay that much... it wouldn't be right to crank the bills up because I need more money. As it is, I find I'm worrying about submitting my full bill for work, because I'm afraid the doctor will Freak!...  The full time contract I had went away the week after WAMU crashed... if they were happier, then they wouldn't feel the need to cut to improve head-count. And in this market, it is a real challenge to find work (at least for me).

But, the bills keep on coming in.

And, the routine that I followed since March is broken. I'd get a wake up call in the morning, and call her back in the evening around 10 and we would talk.

We are not doing that anymore... and I miss it.

But if I don't take care of myself, who will...?


I wonder

UCLA uses Scotch tape to produce X-rays

Now THIS is way cool... in the Los Angeles times.

UCLA researchers use Scotch tape to produce X-rays
The unexpected finding could lead to applications in medicine and other fields.
By Thomas H. Maugh II 9:42 AM PDT, October 24, 2008

Ouch (or I hate it when it goes like that)

Well, that was fun. I just had *the* conversation with my friend who was my girlfriend. Seems we didn't work out; different goals, different life plans; just not *compatible*. I think I screwed up...

I wish her well, but it still hurts; I wish I didn't see it coming. I keep hoping to do better. I think there is a reason for all those "apocryphal" stories about old batchelors and maids... perhaps some truth after all.

There's a quote floating around in my head; which I will butcher. (And no, I don't remember where it's from... but I'm pretty sure it's been out there a while, and I'm certain I didn't come up with it):

"Ghosts are the memories of past regret". And damm, I'm feeling it.

Remember when you were 20 and *anything* was possible, only believe...

When you cannot get it right...

Keep trying!
My friend is out of the hospital a week now, and the doctors at Kaiser are still mystified. All the pain symptoms match up with the first diagnosis; but the scans are now showing negative. They are still running lots of tests. But... it still hurts. And there is nothing I can do except be supportive. (and that doesn't make me feel very in control)... but I am impressed with Kaiser Permanente because when the stuff hits the fan; they're not just playing around.

Meanwhile...


I'm looking for work. In *this* economy. With *this* circus in town. (Thanks to www.peteyandpetunia.com and JibJab...)

Anybody need a programmer?

God isn't done yet...

I live in Chatsworth, and woke late... (recovering) to sirens, helicoptors, and smoke. It just keeps coming...

on Aortic Dissection (Tear)

Friday my friend went from a semi-routine physical exam (for continuing pain); to an ambulance (lights & siren), down to the cardiology unit. The theory was that she might have a small tear in her aorta, (that's what killed John Ritter); and it would be a very serious matter. If you google for "Aortic Tear" or "Dissection", you get a wealth of very scary material. I can only say how grateful I am... to the staff and policies of the HMO (Kaiser Permanente).

It was apparently a false alarm; but if you ever encounter this... get thee to a hospital, pretty damm quick.

Engineer's guide to cats (appros)

In email, as we get such things... a friend sends me a link.
An Engineer's Guide to Cats

As such things go... it's very appropriate.

I hope you enjoy these guy's work...

-e