Relationships

 I have this very dear friend (ex-girlfriend) who wants to kill herself.  She states that the only thing keeping her here is that she has cockatiels to care for).  When they are gone, so goeth she.  She looks forward to death,. and tells me this during many of our conversations.  We haven't dated in at least 12 years, but she is exceptional as a person.  And yet, I cannot convince her to change that position.

When I propose marriage to her (mostly to lift her spirits) she laughs and says I don't make enough money.  She's s VERY Japanese that way... her parents survived the internment camps during WWII.  Besides the fact that I don't share all my asset info with her (because), and I cannot just show her a really large bankroll, I am not considered.  That in fact is probably better since we'd clash if we actually lived together.  Not saying she's opinionated or anything.

But, I am older and somewhat set in my ways.  After all, I have survived this long, haven't I?

She always says that she looks forward to not being here.  And I can do nothing.

Sometimes, I just cry

 As I sit here occasionally watching "Dune" 2021 (I think)

I find that I break out into spontaneous tears and am not sure why.

Is it because I lost my Mom last year (april) or because today some fool tried to end Donald of Trump (who is a unmitigated asshole and a egomaniac among other things).  (note to self, add more clinical insult words).  And this near miss might hand him enough points to win the election?  (Something I consider to be a major disaster).

Is it because the movie is so stirring?

Or is it because I am losing my mind.

Film at eleven.

The more of the antics I see, the more I want to have the ability to drop rocks on folk.

 In the fictional (but hard-SF) universe of The Expanse; disgruntled actors drop asteroids upon the Earth, and create massive destruction.

Right now, the Supreme Court and the Republican Party are accomplishing that as they continue to pursue and implement actions that contravene the Constitution and the Rule of Law.

It disappoints me on a level that I cannot even express.

It is too bad that I don't have any superpowers.

The justices Alito, Thomas, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett