Praise of Kaiser.

 Wow.  Somebody dropped the ball.  Maybe me.

July 27, I went in for a heart-valve replacment / repair; and a bypass.

So, bear with me... I'm going to sing the praises of Kaiser Permanente and Staff.

Deal with it.

(Note - I already wrote this once, but it disappeared... for reasons only the internet gods and BlogSplot may knowe...)

6 am (ish) at Kaiser Sunset.  (That's Los Angeles, people).

Intake, change into the less-than-dignified hospital gown and get IV'd, sensor'd and the like...

7 am (ish) I go into the operatiing theatre, and I can't say anything about that... because I'm sedated and don't remember shit.

11 am or 12 pm (not sure), I'm in recovery; and find out that (a) they repaired my valve instead of replacing it... which means (yay!) I won't have issues down the line with replacements or having to be on blood thinners for life. That improves my long term outcomes significantly.

I spend the next week... well until August 2... in recovery, and I could sing the praises of the staff ad naseum for a while, but let's leave it with when I left... I not only wrote a evaluation and thank you note, but I pony'd up for a lunch/snack feast for the entire two shifts.  (Cold cuts, sandwiches and the like).

I hope they appreciated it, but it was the best I could do.  (It was also rather expensive, but nothing compared to the costs of the surgery and recover... paid for by  Medicare).  Did I mention that in the U.S.A. we have insurance and government coverage for some of that?   It's true, and it even works occasionally.

OK, it's now December (because I've been remiss?) and I wanted to reflect and say thanks.

I walk about 2.5 to 4 miles a day, as per my doctor ordered regimen, and I am very grateful.

I repeat... I am very fucking grateful.

Saturday night and I ain't got nobody

The line from the song seems to fit, every night at 7:30 p.m. I'd call my mom and we chat for 10-15 minutes sometimes a half hour.

I can still talk to her, the problem is I can't hear her responses. You think at  66 and a half, it would be easier. But realize one of the constants in my life from the time I could see was my mother.

I lost my dad a while ago when he turned 67.

And I thought that hurt.

Turns out this is a brand new hurt and it's very fresh.

Reality Bites. Mitral Valve Replacement.

Sometimes, Reality bites.

I am facing mitral valve replacement plus a bypass of the left anterior decending "WidowMaker" artery.

The senior surgeon who is apparently the one doing the procedure is leaving it up to me whether to do a cow (or pig) valve or a metal valve.

If it is a pig valve, then the expected duty cycle is 10 to 12 years before replacement is required again.

If it's a metal valve it doesn't fail often, however I would have to be on blood thinners for life, with all the resultant complications.

 An argument in favor of the pig valve is that I don't have to add medicines that complicate things, and 10 years from now who knows he might have better technology than we have today. The surgeon was fairly dismissive of the beta developments for putting an implant in without opening the chest; mostly because it's not completely approved and he thinks the technology will get better. Also he pointed out the risk factor is having to have emergency open heart surgery because the implantation fails in some fashion. Also he can't do all of the same trimming of the valve etc.

The disadvantage the blood thinners and a steel or whatever metal valve is among other things that I'm at risk for bleeding which would be uncontrollable if in fact I was in an accident. Kidney, liver or head trauma would result in an unacceptable outcome because they can't stop the blood thinners, and they can't control the bleeding. (As I understand it anyway).

 My good friend went through this with her late husband a couple years ago. Specifically the blood thinners but he also had incipient dementia and some other issues.

I have asked a couple friends, because of their professional expertise, because they usually can think their way out of a paper bag, my friend for her experience; and my sister and partner for obvious self-evident reasons. Among other things my sister was the primary caregiver for my mom and I trust her.

I myself am tempted to go with a pig valve and avoid the blood thinners but that immediately indicates that 10 years from now I will probably have to either have open heart surgery again with higher risk and complications, or they will do some other procedure entirely which may or may not be viable at that point.

My Dad made it to 67 as a smoker; had a heart attack and it took him 6 months to pass at in ICU.  I remember.  Mom made it to 103 and 1/4, and she lived a good life.

Thanks for listening

My Mom: 1920 - April, 2023

 So, only  a few days before I was going to see my mom and my sister and celebrate (wrong word) the passing of my cousin's husband.  Then, a few days before I flew up my Mom passed.

So, I didn't change my flight because what was the point?  I could not change the outcome.

My sister, who has been carrying the water as the principal caregiver for the last few years (more than 5, less than 10) needed my help clearing my Mom's apartment.  In between crying, my sister was a rock.

I at that point (and still) can't feel the sadness that I know is coming.  Every so often I choke up, but I still haven't grieved for my mother; whom I have known all my life.  

It will come.  

We cleared my Mom's apartment at the care facility.  My sister is STILL dealing with every reminder that my mother is not here anymore.  I am back in my treadmill, and have still not really sat down to accept it.

Every time I want to call my mom, which I did every night for the last 7 years or so (ever since she fell the first time), I am reminded and I feel sad. I still cannot cry.  Yet.

There is a lot of conflict, because of minor inconsequental things.  I love my sister and her partner.  They rock.  I want to shoulder their pain.  And, I cannot.

Getting back in to the rhythm of things...

So, taking a breath...  because it's been somewhat more busy than I'm used to...

 I got hired by LACCD (East Los Angeles Campus) for an IT position.

Back in September.  

Second shift and in East LA, which meant that I had to leave for work after the peak of the rush-hour, but also that I did not get home until 8-9PM and night.  And... because of the type of the position, my time was not my own; very much "Go to the Fridge, Get the Box".  

Then, during a conversation with my 2nd shift supervisor, I made the comment that HR didn't know what to do with me... because I already had Medicare and was trying to fit that in with the existing Calif coverage, Medicare and Kaiser.  (Hint - the school district HR department didn't have a good answer, in spite of the fact that many of the staff (professors, etc) are well over retirement age).

His response:  "How the heck old are you? and Why are you working?"  (paraphrased)
He literally couldn't wrap his head around the idea that I might still be working after a certain age.

 Besides training never really happening ("You should already know that") and some other interaction issues; most of the feedback I got consisted of "you did that wrong"...  but without direction or instructions I think it was a somewhat unfair assessment.  Pretty much all of the complaints had to do with Institutional Knowledge, not technical (at least in terms of where the errors occurred) and since no-one was willing to explain or credit the missing information; it didn't work out so well.  I had to invent whole-cloth most of the inventory work I did, and was only given vague instructions about most of the rest.  (You should know this)...  but I've never worked in a 3000 staff and 60,000 student environment before.  That is a LOT of "customer/clients".  And there is a LOT of legacy infrastructure that I never saw before in that scale.

It could have gone better.

Did I mention that LACCD has a specific "6 month" probationary period where they can discontinue the employment without giving an explanation?  Well, that happened.

I am still annoyed, but letting that define my mental state allows them to win the round.  

But, I did have plans to stay in the position and build up some cash toward retirement.

Back to the search...

(I will probably have more to say later).