and a time for every season

I flew up to visit my mother on Sunday, before Christmas.  She fell last week and broke her femur, re-acquired pneumonia, and has gone in and out of emergency and ICU.  Now, she is back in rehabilitation trying to walk and stand on her own again.  It is amazing how we take such simple matters for granted, like getting out of bed unassisted, going to the toilet and finishing and leaving the bathroom without assistance.  Oxygen and 24x7 supervision are now a fact of life until she gets back "on her feet", which is a bit problematic because she has told myself and my sister that she wants to die.  That is upsetting; especially given that many folk are much worse off than she currently is, but the change from fully independent and the current lack of control of her environment... makes her depressed.
One of the dilemmas we face, is that the individual has certain rights, and in the state of Oregon, even the right to take their own life. To have assistance in ending an existance that they find unbearable.  But, the dilemma is in the equilibrium.  When is it time?

In the Netherlands, they made assisted suicide legal, and noted an uptick in voluntary deaths including a number where the decision was made on "trivial" matters, a minor reversal, a rejection, a "hangnail" if you will.  This is troubling to me because it signifies a lack of both compassion and intervention for the individual where someone says "that is insufficient reasons" or "it isn't that bad" and have any leverage or moral basis to act.  How do we tell when it is time?  How do we correctly acertain that an individual has made a rational (in right mind) and reasonable choice.  I am not saying that a cancer patient does not have the right to avoid suffering, or that a incurable illness should not short-circuit the end process;  but I do feel that ending existance for trivial manners, without an objection from us, is a  abrogation of our responsibility to be good caregivers and to provide balenced council.  In other words, the ethic of "being our brother's keeper", and no... I'm not a Christian.
But, to balance our willingness to accept the decisions made, where do we say that we should do something to prevent a "tragedy" as we see it.

I do not know.  It is a complex problem.  How can I convince my mother that live is still worth living, and that her function and ability will progress and even recover?
That's the true question.