I shot the damn Arrow...

So, Thursday I went to Burbank Airport to pick up a rental vehicle.
Job required, needed the large POS to transport all the crap from the CISCO class in Port Hueneme.

Burbank Airport, Google and Siri all conspired to really f*** things up.

1. Looking for the Alamo Rental at Burbank, Both Siri and Google tell me that it's at a particular address.
No obvious signage.  At least, not the two times I circled the damn airport.  Can't call the office, they're closed.

2. Then, figured out parking (behind the Starbucks...)  and both tell me to walk East to the street.  No can do, there's fencing there.  Walk back around and over... and no signage for the rental (I'm on the boulevard at this point)...

3. Ask some  random guy for help, he says the entrance is in back... ( kinda where I started).
Walk all the way around to the back again.

4. It's upstairs (btw), and there is a line.  They don't want to take my card because it's a corporate card, so I have to show them a business card.  Ok, that makes it ok with the supervisor.  It DOUBLES the cost when you use their insurance...

5. Then, outside and get the vehicle.  Big-Really-Big Nissan SUV.
Drive around (Mr Toad's Wild ride -- -no kidding, it's Interesting - --) and wait at the exit to be checked out by the airport parking guy.  Then, more steep  and scary and down the ramp at about a 45 degree angle.

Biggest SUV I've ever driven.  (Feels like a kitchen stool married the Queen Mary).

Anger -- why are you still mad?

So, in the continuing tradition of "mea culpa" -- what was I thinking?...

There exists a few folk (girlfriend and a former roommate), who apparently (no - S#**t) harbor more than a little animosity toward me.  Some deservedly, of course... I'm not a saint nor am I teflon; and yet some ...

So, I fwded a picture of mail that I received from someone  who moved out suddenly some time ago (we were apparently having more difficulties than I thought)
and the classic "when the ship lifts, all debts are paid" applied.

I thought that after all that time... we had parted on relatively good terms.  Not so, apparently.  She blew up for informing her about some official looking mail...  So I will just mark all future as "return to sender", which is what I had been doing.

So, for anyone who resembles the above; my apologies. 

I figure whatever issues you still carry are not my problem; and the best part...
I get to keep my stomach lining and I like my stomach lining.

peace.

Dilemmas

Funds are short, I’m having trouble meeting my obligations of the bills variety.
One of the things that makes this interesting, as I have four cats and a bunny to take care of.
I don’t have kids except for the furry variety, And they’re very important to my continued sanity.
I have a thing called mitral valve prolapse which means that one of my valves doesn’t function as it should and that can create problems with something called regurgitation. Regurgitation of course is backwash or backflow. One of the issues is that 90% of the surgeries are successful but 10% or not
In the ...
Alexa can you fucking spell correctly?
In the extremely rare and unlikely event, I don’t want my sister to be faced with cleaning out my entire hoarders condo
That means I have to clean it up before I go in. Not to mention the small but significant fact that it requires cracking my chest which means I’ll be a complete invalid for at least a month if not more. And that also means that My furry  loves cannot park on my chest.

I am crashing

Last night, my mother attempted to take her life with her prescription medications.
She is 99 years old, and because she fell a couple weeks ago, in pain.
I have been talking to her about my problems; and it feels as if I'm responsible. 
The only way she could help, was to pass me my "inheritance".  To die.
She survived two world wars, the Korean conflict and Vietnam.  My father served in the army in World War II, as medical personnel in England and then France.  He never really talked about it, but I know my Mom has letters.
She worked through the war in a hospital, and I don't have much detail.
I know that she's usually very strong, so between the pain and the desire to not outlive everyone she knows; but I don't have an answer, I only have talked to my sister about it.  Not her.  Not yet.

I don't know where to go with this, I just know that my world got bumped yesterday.
I talk to her everyday, in the evening before she retires.
I'm at a loss.

Why it's hard to forgive when you get older

So, other than the friend who is passing...

I'm dealing with several friends with significant issues.

One is going through a divorce, and that's messy.

Another was just involved in yet another accident; which was not her fault... except that the law of averages says she's got to be involved; these accidents don't just happen by themselves.  The law of averages says so...  and I have to be supportive because she's a very good friend and loyal as hell. 
But, that doesn't make it easier when she tells me that she is going to end it all, because nothing is going well.

But the kicker, is a friend/neighbor who grew up in an abusive household and has shitty tools for communication; and rather than address the real problem that she is upset about, will attack about something related but not relevant to the current outburst.  And, oh... does she rant.  (Yes, I know it's not a complete sentence.... get over it).
So earlier today, at the request of her roommate... I showed up to help said roommate with her new phone.    The gist of the complaint is that I didn't call and ask first, and that is intrusive.

I agree.  It is intrusive and I should be more mindful and not do that.  So, I will modify that.
However, the amount of unrelated diatribe heaped upon my head by this person while not addressing that issue (because that was almost not mentioned at all) was upsetting.

I got angry.  Because I am trying to be a better person, and I have learned that responding in kind does not work, I just said I'm leaving.
But, I didn't help her roommate with her phone, and I'm going to just let the situation cool off; otherwise I will say something I will regret that is hurtful whether it is true or not.
But, because I'm still angry and hurt....  I have to reign my mouth in, or I will say what I think.

I already know that is a bad idea.

Local trauma sadness

So, I don't write as much as I did before... I'm not sure if that is because I'm depressed or because I don't have anything positive to say.  (Looking back, there has been a LOT of whining).

But one of my friends is in hospice.  He was my lab instructor at Pierce, a friend for many years and even a roommate for a while... and he married another friend whom I introduced, and would not (still!) take any credit for getting them together.  Other than the fact that I goofed on dinner plans with each and merged them rather than welsh on either...

But I have already said goodby; and his wife keeps insisting that it's ok for me to go back and visit without her; and she's not realizing that it's incredibly difficult to see him in that state; knowing that he is just waiting to die.

I've never been entirely comfortable around his wife... not because she's not a good person or anything like that; I just find her difficult to take in large doses.  I have a group of friends like that; and I don't want to upset them by telling them that my ears are full, or that I cannot continue a conversation because my tolerance limit has been exceeded.  That is MY problem, not theirs.

But it does make it more difficult.

Hence, the silence.

I get to be a cyber-geek...

Yesterday, I got a random text from a unknown number... 

Since I have a little knowledge (not a lot...but...)

I know better than to go to a link like http:// <insert some website here> / <some code number>

In this case, the website immediately refers you to another website, and that page has LOTS of suspect weird code/character formatting... methinks it's a trojan.  (They're happening)...


Yay.  I win.  Avoided it again.