Hey Doctor... it hurts when I do this...

So, got a call today from the former roommate.  She was pretty wound up, and asked me to come get her.  OK... once more into the breech.  Oh wait, (long irrelevant story here)...  but basically she's protecting a kid from his parents, who maybe are abusing drugs, and some issue came up.
The house has 5 to 7 cats in it, and is a shithole, and it's cleaner because of her than it was.

So we go to the park for a bit and meet up with some official type folk about the story, and then she decides that she needs to go home to pack, and will be ready in an hour because she's really pissed about how it turns out.  And... just before I go to fetch her (prearrainged), social services drops the kid off with her.
And... oh wait... the two broken parental units reappear.  Not incarcerated, and no mission accomplished.  Just...
So she bolts; goes to deal with her issues her way... and promises to call me at a particular time, which comes and goes.  No surprise.  That way she doesn't hurt me.

Doctor it hurts when I do this...

Can I make someone else hurt instead?  Please....  I don't know whether to be madder at the fake parental units who caused this mess, or the DCFS office that can't get their act together.

So, another interview, another chance to prove I'm right... (they don't care)

Yet another agency wanted me to come in for a face-to-face.

As if they couldn't do the entire thing via Skype.  I got lucky this time and was able to park for free for two hours (not that I  am going to take that long).

It is amazing how young they are.  I guess from my perspective.... they are all children.  Even the manager, whom I spoke with for maybe three minutes; trying like hell to not get mad because she has already dismissed me as not useful to her.

They have a process, and it's probably about the best you can hope for; because someone figured out that if they keep asking questions, they may eventually hear something that they like.  Or, perhaps not...

I'm a Information Technology person who used to be a developer; and I miss it more than you know.  Where you actually *did* something useful, and created from scratch...

Now I'm just another short-order cook on the information highway.

Pain causes poetry

 whores come and whores go
Where they live, nobody knows.
damaged goods, broken souls
lying faking surviving
barely shows.
It doesn't matter to me.
They're worthless trash it's said
family hates
no friends no hope
just endless "dates".
Broken and angry
thief in the night
justify yourself in the neon light.
Rob and steal, inject and lie dazed
from families broken
unhinged and unmade.
Worthless
dangerous
evil
and gone
you accept this
because you are done.
So they do these things showing disrespect for the whole human race.
Armenian. Mexican, black and I'm white, not right.
Race matters not,
it's entirely for spite.
You made your bed,
it stinks of risk.
you fulfilled your destiny
it is reduced to this.
I would weep for you now dears
if I had any left to give.
Instead feel my (metaphorical) knife
the only role I live.
You say you are worthless, and make it so.
It's up to you now, to change and to go.
Decisions...

So, what the fuck?

I got a call from my ex-roommate.  She told me that she talked to the detective, and said the entire allegation was based upon her being drunk and that she didn't hold to the accusation *after* sobering up.  That we were friends.

Now I wait.  And see what the detective makes of it.  Because, I still could get charged, and at very least for assault...

In AA they talk about amends.  As in ... doing something to apologize and *fix* the damage done prior.  As if that would remove the damages.

News flash, amends are only worthwhile if the person responsible actually feels remorse for the actions taken while out of control. If the person responsible doesn't own it, any apologies are worthless.

Surprises (again?)

So I got a call this morning from a Detective (name removed) from the local division.
It seems that my ex-roommate filed a report of rape against me, either on the day she put me in the hospital emergency room, or a couple days later. 

Long ago, before any of this she told me that she always operates from a position of having less to lose than whomever she is interacting/negotiating with.  The idea, that she can do unto them much worse than they can do unto her...  which is the point.

So, I get a hospital stay, and she gets to accuse me of rape?

yay.

Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em,
And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.
And the great fleas themselves, in turn, have greater fleas to go on;
While these again have greater still, and greater still, and so on.


[originally posted -- 2009-09-07T23:44:41.486-07:00]
attrib:

• Augustus De Morgan, A Budget of Paradoxes, p. 377. Compare Swift, below.

Reflection. about a week

So missy moved out.  No surprise, but the feeling is still equal parts betrayal and hurt, and anger.  I'm still waiting for relief; but It has not happened yet.

So I had this alcoholic roommate; and she moved out...

I'm conflicted because (a) I still wanted to try and help her, and (b) she wasn't paying rent... or doing the agreed chores (etc).  I could go on at length at how she'd wronged me... and I returned the favour; but what is the point?  Whether she owed me money or not, fucked me over or not... when the ship lifts, all bills are paid.

Meanwhile, I'd wonder what she's up to .... except I don't care.  I just keep telling myself that.

So, I have this college dude moving in, and he's totally harmless.  Yes, I know the type.

So why am I bummed?

Maybe because I didn't get to fuck her?  Nope.  Been there done that.  Maybe because I wanted to help her and that didn't take.