Ghosts are the memories Encounters we had

 I shot an arrow, aimed at a friend (probably not) (Lost Angeles)
She ghosted in 2017, telling me she *would*.
I guess you can call that honesty, white trash style.
I know *you're* still out there... unless you're dead.
It's possible.

Ghosts are the memories
Encounters we had
Connections broken
Some good, some bad.
Just because you'll do upskirt in a bar
doesn't mean you are classy
not hardly
not by far.
Since you like to do groups
that much I now know
I won't post your name
but we learned your nature
and so
Funny thing is I miss you
So how fucked is that?
No human is irredeemable
or are they? In fact?
If you show'd at my door
with what would I greet?
Questions? Answers?
or just point the street...
Anger much?

Echos are all I hear (Lost Angeles)

You are still out there.

I've never seen you , never talked.
I dream of what could have been, what never was.
I see you in the faces and figures I watch;
in the passers by and folk unmet.
A liberal in a city of unconnected folk
a poet with bad lines
a musician who can't keep time.
Alas, my time has come and gone
I've chased an impossible dream.
Three years ago, I met you (I thought).
Turfed in Emergency's hallway, I reconsidered.
You were not the one I'm seeking,
in spite of the need, the desiring.
Just a figment of testosterone fueled hope.
Just another stain on the wall.

And yet...

One can hope.

or not.

I shot an arrow... arrows arrows Everywhere

So, the long and the short of it; is that I upset a friend of long standing.  To the point that she gave me back my keys and demanded hers back.  It's a tumultuous relationship, she's a lesbian older woman and I'm her friend who knows how to fix things and cook (something she states she "can do, but will not").
The details are really not that important, except that when she's scared/frustrated she lashes out.  It is what she learned as an abused child oh... so long ago.
I'm pretty weathered myself, have a whole closet of Tshirts with "been there, done that" on them.  Mostly from Craigslist roommates; you know... the ones you love to hate.

So, she found out that I've been exposed to Covid (no surprise, it's when... not if); and because that frustrates some of her plans (she's got a crisis of her own that I was supposed to be helping with, and I cannot if I'm self-quarenteening).
But, instead of addressing that, she attacks me on several other fronts, and we part the phone call in a not so good manner.  So, I wrote her an email countering her attacks, and told her that she had to get past MAD before we could talk.
That worked well.
I'll probably flame her later; when I have composed myself sufficiently... but for now I will just say that neither one of us handled it well.  And, if I had not detailed why all the attacks she made over the phone were bullshit, perhaps she wouldn't be so upset now.  Maybe.
But, since she never addressed the real issue; it doesn't matter.  (I can't help her now, and she's fucked).
She is SO fucked.  (she and her roommate are being dispossesed  by a mold remediation in their unit; while the Covid shitstorm is still in progress.  Since one is 69 and the other 76... it's not like they don't have valid concerns.
But, I can't move shit for them, host them (or their pets)... I certainly don't want to make them sick (and die or suffer from the crud --- IFF I have it). 
Yay.
I need another TShirt -- "I see Morons.  Trouble is, there's one in the mirror as well".

And a shout out to the Donald, a bigger waste of ambulatory protein on the planet I have never seen.

B* homeless and crazy (Lost Angeles)

An open lettre to a gal who doesn't get it.

1. I cannot host you.  (Covid-19).
2. A "night" would extend, I already know this... because you don't have any prospects.  And the last time,  you did not keep your word regarding:
  a. you did not pay rent as requested.
b. you did not help with chores are requested.
c. you borrowed additional funds from myself, P* and K*... and then chose to not repay those.
3. You managed to lose your car (probably a parking ticket / street sweeper action --- I have gotten ticketed), and could not come up with the money to retrieve it.
4. You also lost your room, and without any other information I have to assume that you missed a rent payment...
5. You have priors (see 2,3,4) with being dysfunctional with money, and even with a stipend from the State, you still managed to screw yourself up.That may be a function of your disability, and I recognize that.  It however also may be a result of substance abuse.
It is alleged (of course by J*) that you are using drugs.
You have denied it multiple times, but I also remember you failing a drug test.  I also remember you giving all sorts of excuses as to why you didn't go when you were supposed to , et al.
I am not a drug - rehabilitation center, have no skills in that area and cannot and will not take responsibility for your welfare... and put myself and others in jeopardy.
6. And, I have a rather hostile reaction to you at this time.  (I want to smack the shit out of you).

To your credit, you never EVER attacked me, stabbed me, stole my car...  but you *ARE* a definite risk.

7. Requirements for me even talking to you:
(a) You would have to make good on all debt.
(b) you would have to sign over payments from the state etcetera, and I would give you an allowance out of that WHICH I WOULD MONITOR to cover rent, food, clothing, for any time that you were under my supervision.  Failure not an option.
(c) regular surprise drug tests, audits etcetera required.

See, it's not worth it.

That makes you a bad risk.

It's too bad... you are very sweet when you have your way...

Work, perchance? 2/22/16

(( these are being republished, they're out of order.  Somehow, the database got corrupted and unpublished a bunch of my posts -- this one's 2/22/16))

So, one of my consulting gigs asked me to correlate his courseware to the relevant industry certifications.

It turns out, that is a larger job than I anticipated.  In fact, it's daunting.  This is kinda  a short review, mostly to organize my thoughts.

Basic Cyber (Security) ---  is a get-your-feet wet kind of experience where the student opens the can of worms for the first time and is confronted with the challenges therein.
E.g. :
1. Basics (what is a cyber attack, what is risk management, and what is the commonly used principle used to identify control of information)....
2. Monitoring (detection, responses)...
3. How do you Improve security (patches)
4. How to monitor network traffic  (tools, analysis, modeling).
5. Attack Indicators (how do you know)
6. What is a penetration test (and how do you do it)
7. Forensics (the patient died, what went wrong)
8. Security Lifecycle (yet to be described)...

Advanced Cyber (Security)
1. Penetration Testing Intro
2. Scoping / Pre Engagement
3. Reconnassance
4. Scanning the target
5. Target Exploitation
6. Password attacks
7. Wireless and Web exploitation
8. Social Media
9. Post Exploration (what to do with it)
10. Malware (Malicious Files, backdoors and rootkits and tools)

Latuda. only $1469.00 copay at Rite-aid. 2/22/14

(( these are being republished, they're out of order.  Somehow, the database got corrupted and unpublished a bunch of my posts -- this one's 2/22/14))

IT's been a while.  Where to start.
Well, first.... apparently Latuda is the correct drug of choice to level her out.
It's not a perfect world; but it's so much better than before that I cannot even compare the two.

She's still going to have issues, everyone does.

But....

the truly psychotic behaviour has been stopped.

At least...

What's love got to do with it? 11/7/11

(( these are being republished, they're out of order.  Somehow, the database got corrupted and unpublished a bunch of my posts -- this one's 11/7/11))

what's love got to do with it? (West SFV)

Need a roomate (to pay bills), a discount for the *right* person. Neither a sponge nor a sugar* be, just a person interested in more.

Love the idea of a sex-fiend (not); but reasonable human possibly. If logical analysis deems closer study, then physical inspection be required possibly. An image, certified or a coffee-induced meet in a public place. Perhaps.
If the turning test fails; then the missive dumped with all due haste will be. (If you're that fucking stupid -- I can down your server, mizzy webcam)
If I wanted to pay for a rusty trombone; I know where and when.

Must like cats; I have a couple. How you behave toward cats here below determines your status in Heaven.

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. "

points for knowing the rest of them.

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