So my mom is turning 99.

I realize it's kind of a weird concept, but my mom is turning 99 years old at the end of January. She's been around since the 1920s and she's tired. She also doesn't like Trump very much which I approve of as a rational thinking human being.
But tonight she and I and a bunch of my sister's friends got together and celebrated my sister's birthday, and mom was right there in the thick of it. It Makes my heart Happy.

Blond with a side of dissapointment

Hope dashed,  rage returns
Someday I'll be a better man
apparently not today.

The song remains the same

So, a little bird told me that my former roommate/friend (not) is back at the meth manor.

Three weeks ago, she was all optimistic about a job offer down south, and being flown north to see the operation mid-state.  She called me to tell me so, but then went dark. 

Since she doesn't keep any of per promises, am I surprised that she's quiet?
If she had the job I would think she'd have bragged about it.

I'm betting she got drunk and made a really *good* impression (not).
I'm guessing (not sure), because if she went out to celebrate... drunk in a bar she's an embarrassing slut.  She hits on every male within range.  I've been there for three-four of those events, and it's uncomfortable as fuck.

So,  choices are either the job offer was a fake, she burned it ... or perhaps it went really well (But that doesn't match her track-record).  I haven't heard.

Good news would have been welcome. 

The illusion that your friends are moral compasses...

I had a phone conversation with one of my friends... earlier today where that person told me that (a) that they haven't filed with the IRS for years, and (b) isn't going to vote because they don't like the parties (either one). 

The other acquaintance (used to say friend)... that feels the same way, uses self-justification to avoid responsibility for being part of society and yet will take government social handouts (food/medical) without a qualm.  Especially annoying since THAT person pretends to be moral and ethical individual (hint -- they are not).

Because of this (and a lot of f*ng russians and greedy rich folk) the Donald rose to office.  I hope y'all like your Florida property underwater while y' grab the p***.

I'm going with angry on this one... 

I shot an arrow into the air...

Every so often I throw out a line to the universe, and see who (if anyone) really responds.  It kind of keeps me in touch with my basic humanity.  Think of it like being at a cocktail party or bar... where you just chat up random strangers; except for the preconceived notions of who they are and what they look like.



Some of my best conversations started this way; but they are rare and treasured. 



The gal who I was complaining about, another lost soul in the madness that is this city; visited last night and we had a pleasant time.  She bought/cooked dinner; which was her trade for sleeping on my couch I suppose.... and no karmic debt was incurred.  However, I did detect the occasional edge of what-in-the-past has created great drama; and just avoided it.  She did so, kinda automatically as well.  And off again... for whatever goal she's chasing...  but I did get a salmon dinner and some decent conversation.   And no-one was harmed in the exchange.  I just have to reprogram my brain...



One of my other roommates got to vent about searching for a replacement car to her... since I'm very done with his extended search... (he totalled his a month ago) and she was interested and helpful... and I didn't have to "help".



meanwhile I stave of the madness in little ways...  



Oh the humanity...Snap.

Implicit Bias

An implicit bias, or implicit stereotype, is the unconscious attribution of particular qualities to a member of a certain social group.

I'm an older (duh) white male living in a Los Angeles suburb.  In a  condominium.

I also face the pool in the complex, and (because I am on the board of the association) occasionally face the task of trying to get people to *play nice*.

If they are playing music too loud (yes, it is subjective), or creating havoc or destruction, then I am prone to go in and point out that they are being inconsiderate; specifically, since we have rather warm evenings and nights, being in the pool area after hours; which would be 10 pm on a weeknight or Sunday. 

I am also mindful that being an older white guy, I exactly match the stereotype of the oppressor vis-a-vis black and Hispanic young men.  I'm as uncomfortable confronting teenagers as they are at being accosted or challenged.  Just because someone is being loud and having a good time is not a good reason to tell them that they cannot do so. 

It is a difficult situation for all concerned, the kids  (ladies and young men) are just having fun; high spirits and playful... and I do not want to discourage or ruin that.  On the other hand, feedback on manners is appropriate; but I am pretty sure that anything I say in that regard will be colored by the toxic climate in our society today. 

It is a dilemma; and I have no good answer.  Somehow, we have to all get along.
Just because I or others may not appreciate the music played or the volume; does not give me the right to deny it.  I remember when "over 30" was a catchphrase for judgmentally deficient and hidebound conservatism.  I do NOT want to be that.... oh wait.  Snap.

Alcohol + rage + frustration = shitty outcome (Does it matter?)

Once again, I make the mistake of trusting someone with a drinking and anger problem. And no, I'm not clean here, I'm equally to blame.  Because I know better.
So when I tell the truth (ungarded -- which I agree I should not have done), she flips out.

So I wanted a relationship.  That isn't going to happen.  Oh, I'll get screwed all right, just not in a way I'd like.  I just blocked everybody.  They can go sod off for a day or week or so...

And yes, I can be a  jerk