I shot an arrow into the air...

Every so often I throw out a line to the universe, and see who (if anyone) really responds.  It kind of keeps me in touch with my basic humanity.  Think of it like being at a cocktail party or bar... where you just chat up random strangers; except for the preconceived notions of who they are and what they look like.



Some of my best conversations started this way; but they are rare and treasured. 



The gal who I was complaining about, another lost soul in the madness that is this city; visited last night and we had a pleasant time.  She bought/cooked dinner; which was her trade for sleeping on my couch I suppose.... and no karmic debt was incurred.  However, I did detect the occasional edge of what-in-the-past has created great drama; and just avoided it.  She did so, kinda automatically as well.  And off again... for whatever goal she's chasing...  but I did get a salmon dinner and some decent conversation.   And no-one was harmed in the exchange.  I just have to reprogram my brain...



One of my other roommates got to vent about searching for a replacement car to her... since I'm very done with his extended search... (he totalled his a month ago) and she was interested and helpful... and I didn't have to "help".



meanwhile I stave of the madness in little ways...  



Oh the humanity...Snap.

Implicit Bias

An implicit bias, or implicit stereotype, is the unconscious attribution of particular qualities to a member of a certain social group.

I'm an older (duh) white male living in a Los Angeles suburb.  In a  condominium.

I also face the pool in the complex, and (because I am on the board of the association) occasionally face the task of trying to get people to *play nice*.

If they are playing music too loud (yes, it is subjective), or creating havoc or destruction, then I am prone to go in and point out that they are being inconsiderate; specifically, since we have rather warm evenings and nights, being in the pool area after hours; which would be 10 pm on a weeknight or Sunday. 

I am also mindful that being an older white guy, I exactly match the stereotype of the oppressor vis-a-vis black and Hispanic young men.  I'm as uncomfortable confronting teenagers as they are at being accosted or challenged.  Just because someone is being loud and having a good time is not a good reason to tell them that they cannot do so. 

It is a difficult situation for all concerned, the kids  (ladies and young men) are just having fun; high spirits and playful... and I do not want to discourage or ruin that.  On the other hand, feedback on manners is appropriate; but I am pretty sure that anything I say in that regard will be colored by the toxic climate in our society today. 

It is a dilemma; and I have no good answer.  Somehow, we have to all get along.
Just because I or others may not appreciate the music played or the volume; does not give me the right to deny it.  I remember when "over 30" was a catchphrase for judgmentally deficient and hidebound conservatism.  I do NOT want to be that.... oh wait.  Snap.

Alcohol + rage + frustration = shitty outcome (Does it matter?)

Once again, I make the mistake of trusting someone with a drinking and anger problem. And no, I'm not clean here, I'm equally to blame.  Because I know better.
So when I tell the truth (ungarded -- which I agree I should not have done), she flips out.

So I wanted a relationship.  That isn't going to happen.  Oh, I'll get screwed all right, just not in a way I'd like.  I just blocked everybody.  They can go sod off for a day or week or so...

And yes, I can be a  jerk