wall

Against a wall I feel anger
Against this wall I feel pain
against this wall I feel impotent
against this wall I trapped, am

Friday night revisited...

SO I went down to the local pub (McGs) and it's all different. They have tables setup as for a real resturant, (because of the beer+food thing last night); and it looks really odd.

I finished my midterms, and the less said the better. I will however state that the month of non-study I encountered with the slightly nutso temp roommate didn't do me any favors. Let alone a money issue. But, lest I whine too much, back to the bar.

I threw about half an hour's worth of darts, to the Extended-Super-Long Remix version of In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida... which was playing when I started, and was just finishing when I left; one beer later.

Who says art doesn't have hubris?

life

Keith Olbermann on Health Reform...

From http://politicalirony.com/ and MSNBC...

Health Reform gets Personal

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Keith Olbermann has been absent from his show, taking care of his ailing father and having an unplanned first-hand experience with the US health care system. This is a long video — he dedicated his entire show to this special comment — but it is worth watching. Olbermann outlines the depth of how broken our system for paying for health care really is, and what we can do about it:

Olbermann has two concrete suggestions: one is to stop calling it the “public option” and start calling it “Medicare for everyone” (although he admits it may be too late to change that). The second is to help organize and fund free health care clinics in the home cities of the key Senators working on health reform. The National Association of Free Clinics already had a free clinic in Houston that served 1500 people.

Pecking away...

Proof that I'm not as quick as I used to be... I'm still pecking away at my studies.

You'd think it would get easier.

A combination of language, programming and theory... and I'm burnt.

written for a friend...

form follows function; full wisdom lies. That which we believe in, tricks us; traps us, binds.
Those who believe blindly, lead/follow down a path.
Those who reason carefully, often mistep that
I merely exist, and sometimes lend a hand
I'm just one person, and often do not understand.
But hopeful heart and good spirit count
though not so much as then
I do what I can and what I must
to rest my spirit, then
To lie my head, to rest my bones
to look back on worke well done
I hope one day to see it through
and know the job is done.
But now I rest for weary am
but hopeful that the torch
passes on for now to others who
will struggle, persevere and yet
I miss the battle, the hill not one^H^h^hwon
but not so much to fear
that you and they will drop the load
that once we did share.
I close I sleep (perchance to dream?)
I wish you well it seems
And all in all I give to those
deserving of
good dreams.
2009.efb

Depression = Guilt = Fear

Fear is the mind killer.

So sayeth Frank Herbert, in Dune.

He's right.

When you don't know which way is *out*; and the pressure is on to find a way... then you feel stress. That stress, the realization that you are in *danger*, creates fear.

It also makes you depressed. (or at least, it can... and for me it does).

Can't say I enjoy it.